Posts Tagged ‘secrets’

I AM AN EMOTIONAL CREATURE

I love being a girl.
I can feel what you’re feeling
as you’re feeling it inside
the feeling
before.
I am an emotional creature.
Things do not come to me
as intellectual theories or hard-shaped ideas.
They pulse through my organs and legs
and burn up my ears.
I know when your girlfriend’s really pissed off
even though she appears to give you what
you want.
I know when a storm is coming.
I can feel the invisible stirrings in the air.
I can tell you he won’t call back.
It’s a vibe I share.

I am an emotional creature.
I love that I do not take things lightly.
Everything is intense to me.
The way I walk in the street.
The way my mother wakes me up.
The way I hear bad news.
The way it’s unbearable when I lose.

An excerpt from Eve Ensler’s book I am an Emotional Creature.

Eve Ensler has also written:

The Vagina Monologues

Necessary Targets

The Good Body

Insecure at Last

A Memory, a Monologue, a Rant, and a Prayer (editor)

Ensler is the founder of V-Day, the global movement to end violence against women and girls. And she is one of my role models. Rock on woman.

VDAY: A Global Movement

Buy I am an Emotional Creature (it\’s AMAZING!)

The V-day logo

Image via Wikipedia

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Advice and tips from the fabulous Candace Bushnell. As one of my role models, Bushnell exerts a very macro-level philosophy to life and it’s many hurdles. She has formulated so much wisdom in her life so far, and has pioneered many amazing ideas with her class and creativity. Her words always inspire me and continue to paralell the ideas I have for myself.

Live Within Your Means

“You’re on the edge of your seat financially in your 20’s, but you don’t want to end up owing $80,000 when you’re 30 years old. It’s better to go without.”

Make Friends With Rejection

“In my 20’s, I wrote stories and sent them out. Few got printed. You have to be willing to put yourself out there and then move on, trying every angle.”

Get Pitch-Perfect

“Giving a 30-second big idea to someone is important, so get right to the point: ‘I think I have a great idea for the company. It’s about this. Is that something that interests you?'”

Your Screwups Lead to Success

“Give yourself permission to make mistakes. By developing problem-solving skills, you are laying the groundwork to be happy in your 30s and 40s.”

Embrace the Uncertainty

“Your job in your 20s is to explore and find out about the world- not to worry that you don’t know enough yet. No one knows what’s coming next…enjoy that.”

Essentials Learned About Men

Soul-quaking sex does not equal soul-mate status

“Great sex with someone may or may not really mean something. But it’s a hell of a lot better than bad sex! What it comes down to is that sex is just another form of communication.”

Skip Mr. Big

“That means a guy who will rescue you or who possesses all the qualities you want but don’t yet have. Men cannot give you that. You should be developing those qualities yourself.”

Love isn’t guaranteed

“Most women think that love is a right, that it’s ordained. Guess what? No one has to be in love with you. It’s not a given. The only person who needs to love you is you.”

You will know he’s The One

“My grandmother said that, and I never believed it. But it’s true. You won’t be calling your friends saying, ‘I don’t know if he’s interested.’ There won’t be drama. He’ll be as into it as you are.”

It’s good to emulate them

“I’ve asked a lot of men about their top priority, and for most, it’s career and achievement. Your life is about the development of your story, what adventures happen to you. That’s the romance of life.”

92 Guy Truths…

Posted: August 10, 2010 in Dating, Fun
Tags: , , , ,

 

Quotes from guys from cities all over America:

  1. “I think about you more than you realize. I just don’t phone or email you every time it happens.”
  2. “I never tell my guy friends details about our sex life. But I make sure they know that I’m getting it regularly, and I’ll lie about how hot it is to show off.”
  3. “Making me ask a man for directions is like my telling you to ask another woman for fashion advice.”
  4. “I love being seduced, so do it more often.  Always being the one to start things sexually puts more pressure on me than you know.”
  5. “If I really do stand a chance with you, never play hard to get. I’m so freaked out by rejection, I’ll assume that you aren’t into me and stop calling.”
  6. “Please don’t ask me to help you pick out what to wear. The brown skirt, the blue skirt, they all look good to me, and I can barely tell the difference.”
  7. “It’s actually not okay to pee in front of me all the time. It’s just a little too familiar, you know?”
  8. “When it comes to your guy’s penis, remember three things: If it’s small, say it’s the perfect fit. If it’s average, say it’s huge. If it’s huge, he’ll already know, but he’ll still love hearing you say it anyway.”
  9. “Until we have The Talk, assume that I’m still working the room and fielding my options.”

10.  “Ask me to do something for you and you’ll remind me that I’m a man. On the other hand, tell me how to do something and you’ll remind me of my mother.”

11. “Anything I do that impresses you dating-wise, I probably learned from a girl I went out with before I met you.”

12.  “You may have heard somewhere that you can tell if a guy is good in bed if he’s a good dancer. Well, it’s not true. Like most men, I’m usually way too self-conscious about my moves to really let loose in front of everyone on the dance floor.”

13.  “I’m sensitive about my body, but I won’t admit it. Point out my belly flab and I’ll shrug it off in front of you, and then privately check it out later.”

14.  “Too many women can’t admit when they’re wrong, so letting me know when I’m right, no matter what the topic is, will score you major points with me.”

15.  “The fastest way to get me to do something in bed that really gets you going is to tell me what it is and ask me if I’m up for the challenge. No matter what the move involves, the chance to please you leaves me completely committed to pulling it off.”

16.  “A $2 t-shirt that just covers your ass is way sexier than 95% of the costly lingerie you think makes me horny.”

17. “Whenever you get up from our table at a restaurant or bar to go to the restroom, I scan the room to see how many other guys check you out. I like knowing that strange men envy me for being with you.”

18.  “Next time you insist on ‘freshening up’ in the bathroom before sex, make it quick. The longer you spend behind that closed door, the more my mind shifts away from doing it with you to wondering what nasty deed you’re doing in there.”

19.  “If you’re playing with me and I’m not getting hard, you’re probably doing it too lightly. Yes, I know that you like to be touched very gently below the belt, but my goods require a lot of pressure.”

20.“When I bring up something sweet I did for a now ex-girl-friend, it’s not always because I’m still stuck on her. In fact, I’m probably doing it to advertise to you that I’m good boyfriend material.”

21.  “You know those things I used to do when we first began dating, like how I listened to you tell stories about your college social life and the way I kept saying how cute your cat was? I stopped because I didn’t like doing them in the first place. The truth is, I just really wanted you to like me.”

22.“If you have to ask me if I enjoy giving you oral sex, then you have your answer: I don’t.”

23.“It’s a good sign if I bust on you. Haven’t you noticed that guys are always insulting their best buddies? We only do that with people we really like. It’s how men express affection.”

24.“You can easily discover what sex styles really fire me up if you can find my porn stash or if you view my recent computer history.”

25.“If I tell you your dress looks nice when I show up for a date, I’m being polite. If I compliment it during the date, I’m covering up because I want an excuse to stare at your body.”

26.“Every dude has at least one chick song on his iPod that he listens to often- like Gwen Stefani’s ‘Hollaback Girl.’ Yeah, I have that one, I’ll admit. But I’ll deny knowing how it got there if you point it out to me.”

27.  “Sex is way more intense when a woman is bold enough to look into my eyes for a few moments during the act. But stare at me more than that and I’ll be creeped out.”

28.“I know girls burp and fart. But hearing you do it is a zillion times grosser than when I do it in front of you- not fair but true.”

29.“Making me carry your purse in public may be helpful to you, but it makes me feel like I’m wearing a skirt: emasculated. If you ask me to carry it all the time, I’m going to resent it.”

30.“Wanting you to dress up in a cheerleader outfit doesn’t mean I’m a pedophile. I’m just trying to have a kind of sex life I never had when I was in high school.”

31.  “About my wardrobe: I pick out clothes that feel good rather than those that look good. If you want me to dress cool, just find something in fashion that’s comfy and you’ll see it on me all the time.”

32.“It’s not a good idea to read into every word I say when we fight. You’re probably choosing your words more carefully because you have been upset for weeks and have had time to plan your argument. But I’ll be caught off guard. So for me, it’s like trying to pass an oral exam that I never even knew I had to study for.”

33.“It’s exciting when you get so angry that you let the four-letter words fly- so long as they’re not aimed at me. Seeing your aggressive side makes me feel just as connected to you as when I show my sensitive side.”

34.“Close-cropped hair. Cut upper-arm muscles. Stubble on your legs. Some women can get away with these attributes, but most of the time, they remind me of a guy’s body. So if I see them on a girl. I’m completely turned off.”

35.“Ask me how many women I’ve slept with and I’ll give you a low number if I like you and a high one if I’m after a fling.”

36.“All guys masturbate, and most of us have been doing it every day or two since we first learned how to use the thing.”

37.  “I’m totally in favor of you wearing skimpy clothes when we’re out with my pals. Reveal enough to make them want you but not so much that they assume that can easily have you.”

38.“I’m so obsessed with your body that I’m honestly blind to reading your body language in bed. So you have to speak up- especially if my game isn’t all that good.”

39.“I know I’ll never be the bad-boy type, but please don’t refer to me as a nice guy, even though you may mean that sincerely. The term has been used as code for tool or loser  so often that I can’t stand hearing it.”

40.“On the subject of my mom: if you hate her, I’ll think less of you, but if you always agree with her, it also makes me think less of you.”

41.  “Giving me details about your period- that has to stop. It’s about as attractive as my describing my last bowel movement in graphic terms. Please save it for your girlfriends…unless you’re late this month.”

42.“When I propose something kinky in bed, tell me you’ve never done it before. Finding out that I’m not the first leaves me stewing over the guy who was.”

43.“Yeah, I’m inclined to get pissed off when you make me late for an event because you’re taking so freakin’ long to get ready. But if you come out of the bathroom looking fantastic, all is forgiven.”

44.“If I ever walk away from you suddenly without any explanation, here’s why: I had to either let one rip or scratch my balls.”

45.“Want me to watch more chick flicks with you? Then don’t tell all your friends about how I teared up during the last one. Come on, I have a reputation to protect.”

46. “Just because I occasionally look at other women in your presence doesn’t mean I don’t love you or don’t find you hot. It just means there’s someone wearing an outfit more revealing than yours is.”

47.  “Do something naughty between the sheets every so often that you know will shock me. Getting an uncensored glimpse of your inner wild child is the sexiest thing ever.”

48. “I despise the word cuddle. Never use it, please. But I have to admit, I love feeling your arms wrapped around me.”

49.“If you want my attention all the time, then for God’s sake, don’t give me all of yours. Honestly, making yourself a little less available only makes me want to spend more time with you. You’ll see.”

50.“If a friend of yours tells you that she thinks I’m hot, it’s probably best not to mention it to me. Sure, the news will boost my ego, but it’ll also make me imagine having sex with her. And that would make you kind of angry, right?”

51.  “You look sexy when you’re puffy from lying on the pillow all night.”

52.“We don’t understand your addiction to celebrity gossip. Whatever you do, don’t talk about it on a date.”

53.“Guys get a monthly type of PMS too. We get moody and need our space.”

54.“It’s the hottest thing when you say, “Are you going to kiss me now?”

55.“We read and reread your texts and emails.”

56.“It’s annoying when a girl continues to ask, “What’s really on your mind?” Eventually, the answer is going to be “you asking stupid questions is what’s on my mind.”

57.  “A lot of us are insecure about our bodies. Women look like beautiful, soft, gorgeous angels when they’re naked. We look like hairy orgres or little scrawny trolls.”

58.“It’s cool when a girl isn’t weird about food. I love a woman who will eat something slimy.”

59.“Never tell a guy he’s just like your father. It creeps us out.”

60.“Put on a men’s dress shirt and nothing else. We’ll be able to unbutton it no problem, and it shows off your legs in a wonderful way.”

61.  “We think it’s okay for us to have baggage, but yours still freaks us out.”

62.“We don’t understand why you like to draw out little arguments. After five minutes, we’ve mentally moved on to xbox or working out or sex.”

63.“Quiet confidence is incredibly sexy.”

64.“Women marry men hoping to change them, and men marry women hoping they don’t change. It’s unrealistic, but it’s reality.”

65.“When a guy says he doesn’t know why you’re mad at him, deep down, he really does.”

66.“We’re terrified of ending relationships. We’re always hoping the ‘fade-away’ will work for us.”

67.  “Men need a man cave- whether it’s an actual room or just time to decompress mentally.”

68.“We get self-conscious about hair on our back. A guy’s lying if he says he doesn’t manscape.”

69.“We like being the hunter/provider. And the last thing we want is for our girlfriend or wife to ask another hunter/provider for help. It’s an ego thing.”

70.  “If you say to a guy “We need to talk” and he doesn’t run, he’s probably The One for you.”

  1. “Anything bedazzled is bad news.”

72.  “We’re not fans of your hamster-size dog. It’s high maintenance, temperamental, and embarrassing to be seen with. If we wanted that, we would date a high school sophomore or a mime.”

73.  “We don’t enjoy listening to you sing. Why? Because it means watching you voluntarily bomb your one-woman talent show for what feels like a small eternity. Then, adding insult to injury, we have to tell you how great you were.”

74.  “Calling just to ask ‘Whatcha thinking about?’ is never cute.”

75.  “We absolutely care about your opinions and want to know your thoughts, just not when it comes to our clothes, our ‘dumb’ friends, or anything else we’re irrationally attached to.”

76.  “Threatening to revoke sexual privileges is both cruel and unfair and leaves us no equal measure of recourse. Ergo, we would appreciate your abstaining from all such threats.”

  1. “Your dad’s not as nice to us as you think he is.”

78.  “We never, ever want to hear these four words: We. Need. To. Talk.  The instant they leave your mouth, they register in our brain as I’m pregnant, We’re breaking up, or I’ve been kidnapped. In any case, it sends us into a mental tailspin that leaves us miserable until you explain the situation, which invariably ends up being far less damning than fatherhood or kidnapping.”

79.  “Wedding talk isn’t scary; marrying someone we don’t want to spend the rest of our life with is. If we cringe at the ‘E word’ or anything shiny with a circular shape, it’s a good indicator that we’re not thinking long term.”

80.“ We don’t mind cute pet names. However, they must never be used in the public domain, especially within earshot of our friends and coworkers. There is no amount of therapy that will repair that damage our friends will inflict when they find out we respond to Sugar Num-Nums.

81.  “You look hot in our clothes; we don’t look good in yours. Please don’t buy us skinny jeans, capri pants, or shirts that are the color of Easter eggs.”

82.“We don’t want to know about your bathroom business. We have a lovely image of you that does not include toilets. Sharing that info with us is like telling a child Santa isn’t real. Don’t kill the dream.”

83.“We know we suck at dancing. Yet we still groove with you at weddings and clubs. Our attempts at dancing are a form of social self-sacrifice for the sake of appeasing you. Therefore, curb the cutting remarks, and say something nice. After all, we tell you that you have a great voice, don’t we?”

84.“Approaching girls in bars terrifies us. It sort of feels like a no-win situation. Like, we know we’re already paddling upstream because she assumes, ‘Oh, he thinks I’m cute. I win.’ And where does that leave us?”

85.“’Wow, you look so skinny!’ us not a compliment. Having a good body means actually having something there.”

86.“No matter how big we are- and, yes, I’m referring to that area- its best to assume we have a Napoleon complex. We’d love it if you threw in a ‘Damn, that’s huge!’ every now and then.”

87.  “A man becomes a mama’s boy any time he’s sick. And any time he’s really hungry.”

88.“Dirty texts are amazing.”

89.“We’re absolutely scared shitless of your wrath.”

90.“We hate it when you say ‘I don’t know. What do you want to do?’ Guys have to do most of the heavy lifting in terms of inviting and picking the perfect place to go for dinner. Give us a break once in a while and decide what to do on a date. We’re still going to end up driving.”

91.  “A white wife-beater tank top, tight jeans, and a pair of heels drive us nuts. A black bra and you’re asking for trouble.”

92.“When we’re having a guys’ night out, we’re really not doing much of anything at all. We basically just put each other down, then laugh at each other, then put each other down…”

Sources: Guy Truths They’d Tell If They Had the Guts by Robert Buckley; 10 Things Guys Wish You Knew- Jason Mraz; 10 Things Guys Wish You Knew- Mark-Paul Gosselaar; 10 Things Guys Wish You Knew- Chris Pine;

I started writing this small article a few years ago, I began writing when I was dating a guy for about 8 or 9 months and couldn’t quite figure out what was happening. It wasn’t love, but our connection was strong. I stopped writing after we grew apart; I dated several men after that but no one came close. Then, after a few unexpected, dramatic events changed my life forever, I met someone who was so far from anyone I had gone for in the past. I didn’t know anything about him, but after our first conversation, I knew I would figure out a way to get to know him and date him. In retrospect, I realize that what we discovered and created from each other was not love. What seemed so strong was more lust than anything- which is actually terrifying when you finally realize it. Our connection was not based on the core values two people need in a relationship; nevertheless, now that he is forever in my past, and I have come to terms with exactly what went on in our overly-complicated, addicting virus of a relationship, I have decided to share this article with everyone. It may seem simple and without meaning, but from my point of view this was created during the peeks of relationship high.

So I dedicate it to you- you know who you are- I have realized the mistakes we made and even though I still do not know what love really is, what it feels like, what it tastes like, I post this to allow our misinterpretation to be set free. I appreciate the experience because it taught me more lessons in what love is not. Our relationship was a disguise. It wasn’t love.

One thing only women understand is that it’s all very well to have a good husband, but if you don’t have a good hair colorist, aerobics instructor, car mechanic, baby-sitter, all of the above, you might as well be dead. But, if you could only have one of those things, which would you pick? If you picked any options other than a good, faithful husband, I urge you to discontinue reading this article immediately. You’re simply not ready. If however, you chose the latter, you must have some concept of faith, hope, or even love. Because in reality, would your car mechanic hold you close at night, would your baby-sitter do anything for you and expect nothing in return, would your hair colorist try to think of a million different ways to be funny only to hear the bewitching sweet sound of your laugh over and over, and would your aerobics instructor vow to stick with you through good times and bad, in sickness and in health? I think not.

What is love? Well, love is a mystery. Love is patient; love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind. Although, every individual whom can attest to being suddenly whisked away on that passionate and foolish magic carpet ride must be obliged to concur that the very second you feel it, there is and never was anything mysterious about it.

All women acknowledge there are universal attributes to a man that make him desirable; Bernard S. Talmey, M.D., embraces these “masculine virtues which impress true women [such as] physical strength, courage, nobility of mind, chivalry, and self-confidence. These virtues constitute the beauty which arouses the woman’s love.”

Love is when you never want to make a mistake, and you can’t help but make a fool of yourself. You make mistakes over and over, but none of them count when you’re falling in love. There is no judgment, no regret. Love takes over you, and you happily surrender. Some say they knew from the very first date that it was time to raise that little white flag. Even my own father proposed to my mother the very first time he met her. Naturally, she said no, but nevertheless, they were never parted from each other from that moment on.

In a most romantic love scene from The Blue Lagoon comes this quote that captures all desire fired by love; “As she looked at him like that, he suddenly and fiercely clasped her in his arms. He held her like this for a moment, dazed, stupefied, not knowing what to do with her. Then her lips told him, for they met his in an endless kiss.”

What we call love, can be dangerous and challenging. Love is the most powerful force the human race could ever embrace. All major life decisions involve love; it is the common denominator in all things valuable in this world. It is something that can never be described one way; it is different for everyone, yet astoundingly the same in that once you’ve fallen in love, everyone can attest to that feeling of uncontrolled emotion, great happiness over small things, and finding desire within you that you never knew you had.

It is something you cannot seek out, you can’t buy it at the grocery store, you can’t search for it in vintage shops, or abandoned cities; it is a connection no one can know but the two people it captures. It is such a mixture of all our emotions, thoughts and feelings we rarely feel at once, feelings we never knew another person could bring out of us. When I found love with another person, it was the most exhilarating yet horrifying feeling I have ever experienced. Wasting time trying to figure out what you’re feeling, trying to rationalize your thoughts and decisions. The things you find yourself doing just to make him or her happy. When you laugh for no reason, at any given time, just because you thought of them or were reminded of them. When you find yourself crying because of overwhelmed desire, or not being able to control what your mind and heart are telling you, or when you can’t figure out yet another way just to get closer to them.

Love can dwell on for months, years, and even forever. If you’re lucky, your love can last forever with the one person you’ve chosen to spend your life with. Sometimes it makes us afraid; it intimidates us and therefore leaves us in a shaded place. Whether it ended well or poorly, you will carry the love you had with that person forever. Sometimes it slips away, and you spend forever trying to understand why. As singer/songwriter Adele describes in her song Best For Last:

 “Why is it every time I think I’ve tried my hardest, It turns out it ain’t enough cause you’re still not mentioning love. What am I supposed to do to make you want me properly? I’m taking these chances and getting away. And though I’m trying my hardest you go back to her.  And I think that I know things may never change. I’m still hoping one day I might hear you say:

I make you feel a way you’ve never felt before
And I’m all you need and that you never want more
Then you’d say all of the right things without a clue
But you’d save the best for last
Like I’m the one for you.

The days grow short as the nights grow long. Time is slipping by, why not take a chance? When you’re in love, wasting time is the devil’s game. Small arguments over jelly in the grocery store, or leaving the toilet seat up seem so insignificant and minuscule compared to the power of your connection. Infuriating it may be, when they press all your buttons and push you to the edge; but you can never remain upset for long. If you’re like me, you know what it feels like to want to be in control. I’m determined to make sure I am the only one who can control my schedule, my car, my remote, my feelings, and my relationships. I am the “feminazi” that will argue sandwich making into submission. It used to be that compromises were only made to satisfy my needs. I rarely considered where my partner was coming from, or how I made them feel, it was always about how they were affecting me. For as long as I can remember, I’ve built a wall around my heart, always guarded; never showing my true feelings, never one to show weakness- like crying, never trusting others, and never one to believe love is 100% real. Oh what a rude awakening it is when this type-A personality tries to control a true relationship with someone I wasn’t quite aware that I was falling in love with.

You know who I’m talking about. This someone makes you nervous and weak; someone who can make you cry for the simplest reasons or no reason at all. You want to be a part of their joy and their happiness, their sadness and despair; you want to be their false and their truth. Times you wish your day just wouldn’t start unless they were there. Every day is beautiful when you’re with them; rain or snow, tornado or hurricane, the sun somehow finds a way to shine. What I’ve come to discover, that I never thought I could endure once again, is the dark abyss of torture and lonely hell one feels when they cannot be with the one they love. It seems so unfair that once you have come to this point, after countless bad dates, the handful of failed relationships and the all the assholes you had to run over in order to get here, you still can’t quite reach it. Why is that? Will we ever get what we want? How do you know that what you want is right for you? How can you mend a broken heart? These are questions that some of us will never find the answer to. All I know is that, a core-shaking love, finding that unbreakable connection which changes you forever, will never ever be forgotten. I will never forget how you made me feel. I will never forget your kiss, your touch. I will never forget your smile, your laugh, your happiness. I will never forget you.