Posts Tagged ‘life’

Such Great Heights

Posted: August 2, 2011 in Awareness, My Neuroticism
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Hello everyone!

Okay so basically you never know what’s going to happen today, tomorrow, next week, or next year.

If you know me, or have read my About section, you know that I am someone who has always had a plan for my life. Almost 12 years now, I have followed that path, sure I definitely screwed up along the way, but I still made it back to the path I’m paving for myself. But, we are coming to a crossroads here. (Wow, remember that movie with Britney Spears? Ugh. Yes I saw it. Bloody terrible.)

I have two semesters left in college. It has been my goal, when I graduated to do basically all of these things in the most prioritized order.

1. Get my Masters degree in either Criminal Justice or Sociology.

2. Serve in the Peace Corps

3. Join the Air Force

Fabulously enough, I found out last year that there is such a program in which one can achieve their Masters and serve in the Peace Corps simultaneously. Smashing!

For those that are interested– there are two programs:

The Peace Corps Masters Fellows Program: Those accepted will complete their 27 months with the Peace Corps and after returning, they apply their skills and experience to the Master’s program they chose. Therefore, spending the next 2 years getting their degree.

Peace Corps Fellows Program

The Peace Corps Masters International Program: Those accepted will complete a year-to- a year and a half of Masters course work. After completing the necessary requirements, they proceed to serve in whichever country they were assigned by the Peace Corps. Then, come back to the states, write their thesis and finish any other unfinished coursework, and they’re done!

Peace Corps Masters International Program

There are 60+ colleges and universities that have these programs available. They can be found here: Participating Universities and Programs

My plan is to apply to the only two Masters International Programs in which you can attain a degree in Sociology. Be accepted to the Peace Corps. Rock those 3-4 years, then apply to federal jobs.

However, I recently discovered that I should probably have a plan B set in place in case I don’t get accepted to the Peace Corps. I have never had a plan B! I’m always prepared and organized, if anything ever went wrong, I just moved to the next possible option. I never had a second plan. I suppose my history is a bit rocky, but I still made it here.

So now, in the spirit of change…I am setting up a plan B AND a plan C! It’s a lot of applications let me tell you haha.

Plan B: If I don’t get into the Peace Corps/the two Masters International programs I am applying to, I will move home and work for a year to save as much money as possible. Then apply to the Graduate programs of my choice, and if accepted, move once again.

Plan C: If I don’t get accepted or cannot pay for the tuition with the money I have saved by then, I will join the Air Force.

So complicated! I have about 4 months to make this all happen, get my applications in, and pray the Peace Corps accepts me!

Finally, in getting lost in the paperwork the other day, I thought, what if- by some miracle- everything does work out the way I have planned? What happens when I get to the end of the line? What happens if I finally achieve everything I’ve dreamed of? I have always fought for my goals and beliefs, and I don’t ever plan to stop…but…

What happens when you get what you want?

You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one…


Going Home

Posted: December 29, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

My goodness, as the year comes to an end, it’s really quite amazing to look back and see where life has taken you, in a year, in a few months, even in a few days. Finding happiness in which you feel as though you were walking on top of the clouds; giving up, or rather sharing a great power with someone you very much care for, having to endure the depths of the temporary, but long and painful loss of best friends; yet gaining a stronger kinship which was waiting there all along; salvaging a relationship and means of understanding with someone who really does mean something to you–no matter where they are or where they’ve been or where they’re going; finally conquering great success with the help of relentless determination and after countless mistakes; staying on the path you’ve created; knowing that you never really strayed that far–but if that changes in the future, you can always find your way back to the dream that was created; to have met someone brand new, watch as they grow, learn who they are, hold their questions in your arms; understanding the deep, dark corners of the earth in which fear and anger are kindled; finding more evidence to your purpose; losing part of your passion for someone, without quite knowing where they’ve hidden it; and lastly, unlocking more doors that lead to the untrodden hills of your future. In the wake of these experiences, the feeling, the emotion: the pain, the anguish, the joy, the stress, the tears and the laughter, searching for those answers, for new questions, for more knowledge, more risk, that’s the ultimate goal for the next 12 months; let’s hope we make some progess! 2010, it’s been an interesting experience to say the least. I have a pinch of fear in wondering what my decisions in the coming year will lead to, or rather, what other mischief I can get into…

1. Make out with a random guy who’s completely not your type just because he’s pretty hot.

2. Take a trip alone. (Or go with a friend but spend some time separately.) Exploring exotic terrain on your own gives you a real in-the-moment high.

3. Pack in those plans guys often tend to roll their eyes about: art galleries, plays, poetry readings, etc.

4. Use the money that would’ve gone toward a BF’s birthday present for a deep-tissue massage.

5. Get at least three guys to ask for your number in the same day.

6. Throw a casual weekly cocktail party, each time inviting a different mix of friends, coworkers, and new acquaintances.

Source: Molly Triffin


Advice and tips from the fabulous Candace Bushnell. As one of my role models, Bushnell exerts a very macro-level philosophy to life and it’s many hurdles. She has formulated so much wisdom in her life so far, and has pioneered many amazing ideas with her class and creativity. Her words always inspire me and continue to paralell the ideas I have for myself.

Live Within Your Means

“You’re on the edge of your seat financially in your 20’s, but you don’t want to end up owing $80,000 when you’re 30 years old. It’s better to go without.”

Make Friends With Rejection

“In my 20’s, I wrote stories and sent them out. Few got printed. You have to be willing to put yourself out there and then move on, trying every angle.”

Get Pitch-Perfect

“Giving a 30-second big idea to someone is important, so get right to the point: ‘I think I have a great idea for the company. It’s about this. Is that something that interests you?'”

Your Screwups Lead to Success

“Give yourself permission to make mistakes. By developing problem-solving skills, you are laying the groundwork to be happy in your 30s and 40s.”

Embrace the Uncertainty

“Your job in your 20s is to explore and find out about the world- not to worry that you don’t know enough yet. No one knows what’s coming next…enjoy that.”

Essentials Learned About Men

Soul-quaking sex does not equal soul-mate status

“Great sex with someone may or may not really mean something. But it’s a hell of a lot better than bad sex! What it comes down to is that sex is just another form of communication.”

Skip Mr. Big

“That means a guy who will rescue you or who possesses all the qualities you want but don’t yet have. Men cannot give you that. You should be developing those qualities yourself.”

Love isn’t guaranteed

“Most women think that love is a right, that it’s ordained. Guess what? No one has to be in love with you. It’s not a given. The only person who needs to love you is you.”

You will know he’s The One

“My grandmother said that, and I never believed it. But it’s true. You won’t be calling your friends saying, ‘I don’t know if he’s interested.’ There won’t be drama. He’ll be as into it as you are.”

It’s good to emulate them

“I’ve asked a lot of men about their top priority, and for most, it’s career and achievement. Your life is about the development of your story, what adventures happen to you. That’s the romance of life.”


1. Fall in love; really seize it. The guy probably won’t be The One. But that’s how you learn who you are.

2. Be yourself- especially in a relationship. We still live in a sexist world where women often twist themselves into what they think a man wants, in order to have him. Put yourself before pleasing a guy and you’re more likely to find the guy who’s right.

3. Make a firm plan to move out of your comfort zone. Say I’ll work this entry-level job for two years, and then, no matter what, I’m moving on.

4. Try everything you find interesting, even if its quirky or odd.

5. Dare to ask, What is my purpose here? You might not be able to answer it, but you’ll learn a lot in the process.

…Source: Candace Bushnell

First of all, I am a person who thrives on chaos. For some reason I feel much more at peace with myself if things are completely chaotic and falling apart around me. I guess it’s because I feel the need to help whenever and wherever I can, I always try to help or be apart of situations in which I either know nothing and I try to figure out what to do within 30 seconds and then drive in, or I like to give advice and suggestions to others who are in a situation where they don’t know what to do. Now that I say that, that’s probably annoying to a lot of people haha. Sometimes I just feel the need to make my contribution, you know? Even if it’s something really small and insignificant, at least I didn’t stand there and do nothing.

Anyway, so since I love being under pressure, and I thrive on situations in which the outcome is unknown and there’s a possibility I could influence that outcome, I’m all over chaos. If I have a problem, I have to solve it.

So I try to make my days as varied and spontaneous as possible. However, three things I do without fail are:

1. an hour of yoga

2. play music

3. read

I HAVE to do yoga (shakti) everyday. Since I usually have a lot of things going on, combined with the fact that I’m always in my head, working things out and basically talking to myself, haha- yoga is the one thing that allows me to sort of step out of that life for a bit and just be me. Its just me, the sun, the sky, the air, my breath, and my body. Nothing else. That’s what I find amazing and addicting about it.  I always have to make time for yoga because it keeps me balanced and keeps me sane. If it seems like my world is falling apart around me, for some reason I become much more open-minded and able to see the bigger picture.

Music is my everything! I have 5 alarms go off in the morning or else I would probably be in an ongoing comma. Three of those alarms are my ipod, a cd player, and music on my phone. I only wake up to the song I’m in the mood for haha, which is usually by the 4th alarm…or if I hit snooze on all of them and I wake up to the 19th track on the cd, then I have a small seizure and sprint to the shower because I’m 32 years late for work or class! I play music in my room when I’m in the shower, when I’m downstairs, when I’m eating dinner, while I’m watching the news; my family finds it so annoying but I feel some sort of comfort knowing that whenever I come back to my room there’s going to be an awesome song playing 🙂 maybe I’m super strange or have a psychological disorder. This could very well be possible and I don’t know…maybe I’d be chill with it. Music is expression. Music is there when there are no more words. When you can’t figure out what you feel, or what you want to say, there’s always a song that will put things in perspective or give you courage, sadness, happiness, understanding, and just overwhelming feelings that things in your everyday life could not give such an affect.

Reading things everyday is pretty diverse. I am usually reading three books at a time, right now I am reading Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, The Bitch in the House: 26 Women Tell the Truth About Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage, and Screw Cupid by Samantha Scholfield. I don’t know how I feel about Screw Cupid yet haha it seems like a book I would read if I’d never been on a date before, but it’s entertaining nonetheless! The Bitch in the House fills my need for female empowerment and union and of course Jane Austen is just simply brilliant and I can’t get enough of her. Aside from those I read a couple articles in the newspaper or on news websites, and I’m always reading up on something for class of course 😉

I suppose these three are pretty generic but they’re also the staples in my unpredictable days. Whether I choose to stay in all day and do as minimal activity as possible, or I’ve been on the run for 16 hours straight, I will always have time or make time for these three things. I believe its the small, simple things that count. And I am a firm believer that everyone should take at least an hour a day for themselves- or else we get lost.