Posts Tagged ‘friendships’

Going Home

Posted: December 29, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

My goodness, as the year comes to an end, it’s really quite amazing to look back and see where life has taken you, in a year, in a few months, even in a few days. Finding happiness in which you feel as though you were walking on top of the clouds; giving up, or rather sharing a great power with someone you very much care for, having to endure the depths of the temporary, but long and painful loss of best friends; yet gaining a stronger kinship which was waiting there all along; salvaging a relationship and means of understanding with someone who really does mean something to you–no matter where they are or where they’ve been or where they’re going; finally conquering great success with the help of relentless determination and after countless mistakes; staying on the path you’ve created; knowing that you never really strayed that far–but if that changes in the future, you can always find your way back to the dream that was created; to have met someone brand new, watch as they grow, learn who they are, hold their questions in your arms; understanding the deep, dark corners of the earth in which fear and anger are kindled; finding more evidence to your purpose; losing part of your passion for someone, without quite knowing where they’ve hidden it; and lastly, unlocking more doors that lead to the untrodden hills of your future. In the wake of these experiences, the feeling, the emotion: the pain, the anguish, the joy, the stress, the tears and the laughter, searching for those answers, for new questions, for more knowledge, more risk, that’s the ultimate goal for the next 12 months; let’s hope we make some progess! 2010, it’s been an interesting experience to say the least. I have a pinch of fear in wondering what my decisions in the coming year will lead to, or rather, what other mischief I can get into…

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Friends may come and go, but my sisters are forever.

“Live it. Talk it. Dream it. Work for it.”


The purpose of Alpha Sigma Alpha is to foster close friendships between members and develop women of poise and purpose. Our mission is that we promote high ideals and standards for our members throughout their lives by emphasizing intellectual, physical, social, and spiritual development.

 

 

This weekend, I had a big conference to attend for my sorority, Alpha Sigma Alpha. I am always super excited to be apart of anything that involves my sisters, but these things mean even more to me than they did a year or two ago, and I always learn something from them. My sisters have always been a huge part of my life, since my very first weeks of college. I never thought about joining a sorority, not because of all the negative stereotyping gossip I’d heard, but mostly because I was always too busy with other organizations and didn’t have a clue about what a sorority did or meant.

Nothing but happiness 🙂

In one of my freshman introduction classes, there was a senior who was basically a student assistant for our class. She was so friendly and always made me feel like we should be friends, even though I knew nothing about her. She invited me to hang out with her and some friends one night to watch Grey’s Anatomy. I didn’t know her, I didn’t know her friends, and I had never watched Grey’s. I went with a friend, and of course we had a great time! We had so much in common with these girls already, and they didn’t make us feel like we were any different than them. A week or two later I started going to the recruitment events around campus, and the rest is history 🙂 She graduated the following semester but we’ve still kept in touch. I owe so much of happiness and wisdom to the one woman who took it to the extra degree to extend her friendship and sisterhood with me. She will always be important to me, no matter where we live, or what changes we experience throughout our lives.

The point is that you never know what little things can change your life. How do you know what you’re capable of unless you try? My sisters have shown me so much about friendship, love, uncertainty, and life in general. Sometimes we lose ourselves in the routine of every day life; deadlines, work, family, other commitments, and we forget the larger scale, we forget what’s really important to us.

I was lucky enough to be completely surrounded by my sisters for two years. After I transferred schools, it didn’t hit me until I started my new life, that I would never get those moments back. I would never be able to stay up late and make pizza while we studied all through the night, I wouldn’t get as many chances to laugh until I cried, or go on last minute road trips, or even just come home to friends everyday. I would never be able to surround myself with that many people who really understood me and helped make me who I am today. I still get those chances every now and then, but it’ll never be the same as having them there every day.

It’s been a while since I transferred, girls have graduated and new girls have joined, and I too have made friends with other sisters who came before me. What is amazing is that no matter what, we always seem to pick up exactly where we left off. Whether I saw them 3 months ago, or 2 years ago, we still talk the same and still have a really strong bond. I’m not sure about others, but I’ve never had that with another group of people, sometimes not even my family. We share a bond that we pledged to the group of women because each and every one of us took a leap to better ourselves, and to put effort into improving the lives of our friends too. Some may not know it now, but I believe this is something we could all agree to.

Branching out from my original chapter, I have built relationships with many alumnae who have all different backgrounds, it doesn’t matter where you came from, or where you’re going, even if there’s 20 or 30 years between us, we can still foster that bond, because we’re all sisters.

Spending the conference with the alumnae, we shared many experiences with each other that only close friends and family members could know or understand. Learning so much about the path of their lives, what they have accomplished, and what they still strive to accomplish, gave me a sense of great hope and faith. Learning that some of my sisters have gone through unimaginable struggles and have experienced true happiness, really helped me to put my own life in perspective. I have been going through many, many transitions in all parts of my life in the past few months, and I had an idea of direction, but I still hadn’t found that balance I was looking for. Talking with sisters who’ve been through life and through death, through losing close friends and close family members, marriage and divorce, careers and social movements; made me realize again who I am, where I have been, the experiences I’ve had that have changed my life, the accomplishments and the failures I’ve made, and gave me a glimpse of who I want to strive to be in the coming years.

I only hope that the new women from my original chapter got somewhat of the same happiness that I experienced this weekend. I know that no matter what happens, I have a sister who will be there for me. Some have already experienced so much in their lives, I only hope I can stand as they do in my future. I feel I can learn so much from them, the new members, and the alumnae members. My point is that, try every once in a while, to step back and evaluate what’s going. Step back, take a breath, and consider the larger picture and consider all the things you are grateful for, who or what you cannot live without.

My sisters show me what love and friendship means in all different ways and I am so thankful for every last one of them.

Friends may come and go, but my sisters are forever.

Alpha love.

I just wanted to take a minute and thank all of our soldiers, in all branches of the military, for their service and dedication. It takes so much to do what you do. At times it may seem like the hardest thing you’ve ever done. You might think it was a mistake. You might hate it. And that’s perfectly fine. But I just want you to know that no matter what happens in 2 years, or 6 months, or in 2 days, there are always people in your life who love you and care about you and will always be there for you. We support you in whatever decisions you make and will stand by you in the best and worst of times.

Secondly, I just want to say thank you to all my beautiful and amazing friends who have not only helped me when I felt sad and alone, but also wanted to point out how inspiring you are to me. The women in my life who have a husband, boyfriend, or significant other who is in the military, are so strong. You help me to have faith and keep going. Even though at the moment, my relationship is not as serious as yours, every little bit helps. It is so hard to be away from someone you really care about. No matter what happens with him and I in the coming days, I am so grateful that I have friends who are going through or have gone through similar situations, and I love and thank you for your support. You have no idea how much it helps to just talk it through with you girls.

To everyone who has a loved one, or significant other who is deployed, serving at a base across the country, or if you’re fortunate enough to have them home with you; stay strong and know that you’re not alone.

**That friendships can be as comfy as old sweatshirts, but love affairs shouldn’t be.

**Why we need our own a) bank account b) credit card c) bathroom d) closet e) all of the above

**How to pack the trunk of the car correctly

**Dawdling

**The tone of your girlfriend’s telephone voice when she means: He’s in the room, so I can’t talk about that right now.

**The difference between pants, regular pants, nice pants, good pants, and dressy pants.

**Why it makes perfect sense to wear toe-crushing, arch-defying, exquisitely beautiful pumps.

**What it is exactly about mice…

**That the noise in the cellar in the middle of the night is not the house settling. It is an ax murderer or, at the very least, a large, scary robber.

**Being addicted to women’s magazines.

**That it’s all very well to have a good husband, but if you don’t have a good a) hair colorist b) aerobics instructor c) car mechanic d) baby-sitter e) all of the above; you might as well be dead.

**That he’s not allowed to leave underwear all over the bedroom, but you are because yours is prettier 🙂

**Why you want him to hold the door for you.

**Why you don’t want him to hold the door for you.

**The subtle gradations of friendship: You’d tell that story to her but not to her.

**Why a woman cannot have too many pairs of black slacks.

**How to look as if you’re listening attentively while you’re actually planning your grocery list in your head.

**That listening–really listening–to a woman is the sexiest thing a man can do.

**Why it’s essential to pack your makeup case in your carry-on bag, not in your luggage.

**The importance of excellent diplomatic relations–with the plumber, the dry cleaner, the vet, the mail carrier, the UPS driver, and every other life-support system.

**How to put on lipstick with a mouth full of Novocain.

**The subtle gradations of flirting: A friendly smile across the table at lunch means one thing, but if you lean toward him when you smile at him, that’s something else entirely.

**That the opportunity to wear your new outfit is a reason to go on living.

**The telltale signs of cheapness in a man: saving rubber bands, giving you a gift without gift wrap, bringing bad wine to a dinner party, insisting that the generic brand of everything is just as good, a subtle hesitation when the waiter brings the check, arriving so late at the movies that you’ve already bought the tickets.

**That finding a pair of perfectly fitting jeans approaches having a religious experience.

**That personality is revealed by one’s choice of underwear.

**The difference between a girl and a woman.

**That sometimes the most effective way to cope with the problems of daily life is to take a nap.

**How to drive a man crazy.

**Why a vacuum cleaner is not a good birthday present for a woman. Same goes for a humidifier, a lawn mower, or an electric toothbrush. A powerdrill, on the other hand, might be a breakthrough.

**If he says he doesn’t deserve you, he probably doesn’t. And if he says you’re too good for him, you probably are.

**That there’s something basically wrong when the majority of politicians are male in a country where the majority of people are female.

**That when he says he’ll call you soon, he won’t. But when he says he’ll call you tomorrow at seven-thirty, he will.

**That making a list of the things you have to do is almost as good as doing them.

**Why erotica for women is different from erotica for men.

**That men get too much credit for being monogamous, and women get too little.

**Changing your mind fifteen times in an hour.

**That when you’re out of sorts or depressed, the best quick remedy is to call a friend. (Men would sooner call the dentist.)

**That having many, many, many pairs of shoes does not make you a foot fetishist.

**Buying that perfect t-shirt in five different colors.

**That no matter how gender-neutral you become, you’ll never agree to stop painting your toenails.

**Why you need your own special shampoo even though the hotel provides loads of little bottles of the stuff.

**The unbeatable combination of girlfriends and a kitchen table.

**That men don’t know how to talk about problems until we teach them.

**How endearing it is when a man remembers your favorite color, flower, author, rock band, sandwich, and flavor of ice cream.

**That when you’re out on a date it’s a turn-on to pick up the check. (Hey, sport, that’s one reason men like to do it.)

**That spending $50 on a sweater marked down from $150 means you have an extra $100 in your checking account.

**That men do not speak the same language women speak, even when it sounds like standard English.

**How to handle rejection. Right.

**Why Girls’ Night Out is not on the list of optionals.

**That receiving a bouquet of carnations is worse than receiving no bouquet at all.

**How to apply makeup in the rearview mirror.

**How to function brilliantly in an emergency.

**You need hugs and kisses every day. You may not get them, but you need them.

**That it’s just about the most annoying thing in the world when a man you meet at a party asks, right off the bat, what your husband or boyfriend does–instead of asking what you do.

**That it takes you about one millisecond to detect a woman who doesn’t like other women.

**That running out of coffee, panty hose, mascara, and gas on the same morning is enough to send you back to bed for the rest of the day.

**Why pockets will never replace handbags. (Try carrying Tampax in your pocket.)

**It’s possible to have it all, but not all at once.

 

Source: 511 Things Only Women Understand by Lorraine Bodger