Archive for the ‘Secrets’ Category


I love being a girl.
I can feel what you’re feeling
as you’re feeling it inside
the feeling
I am an emotional creature.
Things do not come to me
as intellectual theories or hard-shaped ideas.
They pulse through my organs and legs
and burn up my ears.
I know when your girlfriend’s really pissed off
even though she appears to give you what
you want.
I know when a storm is coming.
I can feel the invisible stirrings in the air.
I can tell you he won’t call back.
It’s a vibe I share.

I am an emotional creature.
I love that I do not take things lightly.
Everything is intense to me.
The way I walk in the street.
The way my mother wakes me up.
The way I hear bad news.
The way it’s unbearable when I lose.

An excerpt from Eve Ensler’s book I am an Emotional Creature.

Eve Ensler has also written:

The Vagina Monologues

Necessary Targets

The Good Body

Insecure at Last

A Memory, a Monologue, a Rant, and a Prayer (editor)

Ensler is the founder of V-Day, the global movement to end violence against women and girls. And she is one of my role models. Rock on woman.

VDAY: A Global Movement

Buy I am an Emotional Creature (it\’s AMAZING!)

The V-day logo

Image via Wikipedia


**That friendships can be as comfy as old sweatshirts, but love affairs shouldn’t be.

**Why we need our own a) bank account b) credit card c) bathroom d) closet e) all of the above

**How to pack the trunk of the car correctly


**The tone of your girlfriend’s telephone voice when she means: He’s in the room, so I can’t talk about that right now.

**The difference between pants, regular pants, nice pants, good pants, and dressy pants.

**Why it makes perfect sense to wear toe-crushing, arch-defying, exquisitely beautiful pumps.

**What it is exactly about mice…

**That the noise in the cellar in the middle of the night is not the house settling. It is an ax murderer or, at the very least, a large, scary robber.

**Being addicted to women’s magazines.

**That it’s all very well to have a good husband, but if you don’t have a good a) hair colorist b) aerobics instructor c) car mechanic d) baby-sitter e) all of the above; you might as well be dead.

**That he’s not allowed to leave underwear all over the bedroom, but you are because yours is prettier 🙂

**Why you want him to hold the door for you.

**Why you don’t want him to hold the door for you.

**The subtle gradations of friendship: You’d tell that story to her but not to her.

**Why a woman cannot have too many pairs of black slacks.

**How to look as if you’re listening attentively while you’re actually planning your grocery list in your head.

**That listening–really listening–to a woman is the sexiest thing a man can do.

**Why it’s essential to pack your makeup case in your carry-on bag, not in your luggage.

**The importance of excellent diplomatic relations–with the plumber, the dry cleaner, the vet, the mail carrier, the UPS driver, and every other life-support system.

**How to put on lipstick with a mouth full of Novocain.

**The subtle gradations of flirting: A friendly smile across the table at lunch means one thing, but if you lean toward him when you smile at him, that’s something else entirely.

**That the opportunity to wear your new outfit is a reason to go on living.

**The telltale signs of cheapness in a man: saving rubber bands, giving you a gift without gift wrap, bringing bad wine to a dinner party, insisting that the generic brand of everything is just as good, a subtle hesitation when the waiter brings the check, arriving so late at the movies that you’ve already bought the tickets.

**That finding a pair of perfectly fitting jeans approaches having a religious experience.

**That personality is revealed by one’s choice of underwear.

**The difference between a girl and a woman.

**That sometimes the most effective way to cope with the problems of daily life is to take a nap.

**How to drive a man crazy.

**Why a vacuum cleaner is not a good birthday present for a woman. Same goes for a humidifier, a lawn mower, or an electric toothbrush. A powerdrill, on the other hand, might be a breakthrough.

**If he says he doesn’t deserve you, he probably doesn’t. And if he says you’re too good for him, you probably are.

**That there’s something basically wrong when the majority of politicians are male in a country where the majority of people are female.

**That when he says he’ll call you soon, he won’t. But when he says he’ll call you tomorrow at seven-thirty, he will.

**That making a list of the things you have to do is almost as good as doing them.

**Why erotica for women is different from erotica for men.

**That men get too much credit for being monogamous, and women get too little.

**Changing your mind fifteen times in an hour.

**That when you’re out of sorts or depressed, the best quick remedy is to call a friend. (Men would sooner call the dentist.)

**That having many, many, many pairs of shoes does not make you a foot fetishist.

**Buying that perfect t-shirt in five different colors.

**That no matter how gender-neutral you become, you’ll never agree to stop painting your toenails.

**Why you need your own special shampoo even though the hotel provides loads of little bottles of the stuff.

**The unbeatable combination of girlfriends and a kitchen table.

**That men don’t know how to talk about problems until we teach them.

**How endearing it is when a man remembers your favorite color, flower, author, rock band, sandwich, and flavor of ice cream.

**That when you’re out on a date it’s a turn-on to pick up the check. (Hey, sport, that’s one reason men like to do it.)

**That spending $50 on a sweater marked down from $150 means you have an extra $100 in your checking account.

**That men do not speak the same language women speak, even when it sounds like standard English.

**How to handle rejection. Right.

**Why Girls’ Night Out is not on the list of optionals.

**That receiving a bouquet of carnations is worse than receiving no bouquet at all.

**How to apply makeup in the rearview mirror.

**How to function brilliantly in an emergency.

**You need hugs and kisses every day. You may not get them, but you need them.

**That it’s just about the most annoying thing in the world when a man you meet at a party asks, right off the bat, what your husband or boyfriend does–instead of asking what you do.

**That it takes you about one millisecond to detect a woman who doesn’t like other women.

**That running out of coffee, panty hose, mascara, and gas on the same morning is enough to send you back to bed for the rest of the day.

**Why pockets will never replace handbags. (Try carrying Tampax in your pocket.)

**It’s possible to have it all, but not all at once.


Source: 511 Things Only Women Understand by Lorraine Bodger

Here we have the words of wisdom from several psychologists, counselors, researchers, and matchmakers “to spill their secrets to making that complicated-but-wonderful guy-girl thing actually work.” All of these dead-on tips are split up into “five major love stages.” Some may stray a bit from your own moral compass (mine too), but overall I think we’ve got a great batch of girl talk for all the ladies to enjoy…

Stage One: Falling in Lust…

Don’t sleep with a guy on the first date if you want the best shot at some kind of future with him. Yes, plenty of relationships do start that way, but you risk being put into the onetime-fling category.

Never pretend to be into a guy’s hobbies. Your true colors will come out.

When a guy tells you he isn’t looking for a commitment, repeat it to a friend or write it down. Do what you have to do. That forces you to accept that he means it…and he does. (Yes, from time to time we do need this kind of reality check, especially if your heart is being really stubborn and doesn’t want to listen! Happens to the best of us.)

Enjoy the moment when you’re on dates. That means no discussing the future with him or worrying Is he The One? by date four. For the first month or so, your only job is to have fun. (Make that the first 2 or 3 months!)

Focus on your own pleasure in bed. If you’re too busy showing off your skills, you’ll forget to just enjoy yourself (and rob him of the pleasure of driving you wild).

Listen to what his friends and family say about him. Offhand comments (“He was never a one-woman guy before meeting you!”) are some of your best tip-offs to the real him. So pay attention!

Sit or stand side by side with your man while doing things together whenever possible. Men typically feel more relaxed and intimately connected in this position than when you’re directly facing each other.

Spend equal–if not more–time with your friends in the first few months of dating. Guys often rush into a relationship, then suddenly cry, “This is moving too fast!” You have to apply the brakes. (Very true! And it takes a while to get used to this part ladies. Just takes practice.)

Keep your options open for at least three months before deciding to be exclusive. You need a minimum of 90 days to even begin to know what someone is really like.

Stage Two: Going to the Next Level…

He’s not your boyfriend until he publicly calls you his girlfriend or agrees to be exclusive. End of story. (Ladies please don’t try to bend the truth and scew reality. This is simple. It might be a hard pill to swallow, but this is definitely a mistake that does not look classy on you. Now, if you and your friends, agree you’ve been waiting forever for just an inch…then it might be time to re-evaluate why you’re still with this guy.)

When you have a problem with his lifestyle, speak up before you get really angry. If you don’t tell him that his partying bugs you, you’ll eventually explode on him- not a smart communication technique. (This takes a lot of patience. If you find yourself getting super angry in the moment, it’s best to step away from the situation and think about it or talk it over with a friend. Remember to pick your battles. Because in the end, is this REALLY something you need to start an argument over?… if it is- speak up girl!)

Let him be the first to say the L word. Men generally need more time to process emotions and voice them. Hearing it could make him feel cornered. (Normally I would probably say ‘ugh bullshit, if you want to say it first, go for it!’…but this fact can be backed up by psychological and sociological fact- therefore it might be best to let him go first )

If you need a Define This Relationship Talk, initiate it while walking with you guy. Low-key activity lowers his stress hormone levels, which rise when he’s forced to chat about his emotions. (the downside to gender socialization. Sad day.)

Hang out with happy couples he knows and thinks are cool. When he sees commitment as a fun thing, he’ll become more comfortable with it. (Only necessary if your guy hasn’t been in a committed relationship before.)

 If you think you want to marry a guy, wait to move in until you’re engaged. Otherwise, he’ll feel less incentive to take the next step. (Although, if he needs more incentive than just wanting to be with you…then what the heck? hmmm)

Shacking up while you’re engaged is a smart move. Cohabiting presents a host of challenges that are best handled prior to marriage.

Deliver an ultimatum to get a commitment only if you’re prepared to walk away. Be firm about expectations, and give him a deadline. (emphasis on the prepare to walk away part!…ultimatums can be dangerous.)

You can’t force a guy to cut ties with his past…but explain why his hanging out with an ex or someone you don’t like, hurts you. If he really cares, he’ll respect your wishes or tell you why he needs continued contact. (Very, very, very true. You cannot change the people that were in his past. No matter how much you wish they weren’t involved.)

Cut your guy some slack if he promises you’ll get engaged once he reaches a goal, like finishing grad school. But give him only nine months after that to make good on his word.

Stage Three: Hitting the First Rough Patch

Develop binocular vision: the ability to see his perspective plus your own. Try to appreciate his point of view and he’ll be more likely to appreciate yours. (This is definitely the best but sometimes the hard thing to do. But try to do this as much as possible! It will definitely work out some way.)

Couch a complaint between compliments: “You’re a great schmoozer, but I’d like a call if you’re going to miss dinner because of client drinks. I love our evening time together, and I want to know when it will start.” (Most often I say just come right out and say it. Cut the bullshit. lol but sometimes I’m nice.)

Get him to act by using humor.

Know this: over time, a guy’s attitudes, opinions, beliefs, politics, and views toward money could be fluid. What probably won’t change: his values, stance on monogamy, and religious beliefs.

Speak up about specifics- a birthday present you’d like, a restaurant you want to go to. Men don’t pick up on subtle clues.

If you find out something bad about his past, like he cheated on an ex, ask why he did it and what he learned. If he is contrite and has vowed to change, chances are, he won’t do it again.

When he seems overwhelmed during an argument, take a 20 minute break. Men’s bodies easily flood with stress hormones, triggering an instinct to flee.

Watch your mouth in moments of anger. Cruel or contemptuous comments are often forgiven but not forgotten.

Don’t criticize his attempts to say sorry. Men apologize through activity, so although you may not hear the word, you’ll see it when he takes you to dinner or gives you a massage after a fight.

Stage Four: Cruising Into the Comfort Zone

One habit all happy couples share: doing fun things together. Competitive games (pool, Trivial Pursuit) have a strong effect because they raise adrenaline, which helps you bond.

Don’t let him see you peeing, plucking your eyebrows, or doing an at-home bikini wax. You can be “real” in ways that don’t chip away at romance.

Keep some secrets to preserve mystery. Examples: your “number,” what happened that girls’ weekend in Cabo, etc.

Jump on him instead of next to him on the couch. Being sexy and playful takes effort, but it’s the glue that keeps couples together.

Don’t forget to kiss. Doing it for 10 seconds for no particular reason makes you more aroused during sex, even hours later.

…And hug too. Guys have less oxytocin, the brain’s bonding chemical, than women do, but it can be boosted with frequent touching.

If your body has changed since you met, good God, don’t point it out! Men rarely notice details like cellulite and saggage.

Balance out each negative interaction with five positive actions. Things like a peck on the cheek, make-up sex, or saying I love you will help repair and restore your relationship after a fight.

Don’t succumb to sex when you’re not feeling it. Most women need a few minutes to relax before they’re mentally ready to become intimate. Chill, then go at it.

Get past a sex slump by isolating yourselves (spending a night at a hotel or the weekend in your bed) with no distractions and only one agenda: sex.

Don’t pull a Heidi Montag and dump everyone to be with your guy 24/7. Space is healthy, and no one person can be responsible for your happiness. (Agreed 100%)

Be unpredictable. Guys want variety, but they don’t require it from other girls. While reading the paper say “You know, I’ve always wanted you to do me on the stairs,” then nonchalantly go back to the headlines.

Always thank him for little stuff (e.g., filling up your tank, being sweet to your third-wheel girlfriend). Appreciation keeps the good deeds coming.

Stage Five: Looking at the Future Together

Both of you at some point will question your ability to be faithful forever. Keep it to yourself, and don’t take it personally if he’s having the same doubts.

If you wonder whether you’re settling, ask yourself, Am I spending so much time saving this relationship that I’ve neglected the goals I had before we met? If I walked away right now, could I live with losing him? If you answer no, stick with it and reevaluate in six months.

Love doesn’t conquer all. Some incompatibilities just won’t go away, no matter how much you care.

Don’t compare your relationship to other people’s. Every couple- even the perfect-looking ones- has problems.

Innocent jealousy keeps things spicy. Occasionally laugh about how you happily rebuffed a cheesy guy’s advances.

Get real about sex: 5 to 15 percent of intercourse in healthy relationships is either dissatisfying (one of you doesn’t climax or foreplay is rushed or skipped) or dysfunctional. Don’t sweat it until you clock more duds than that.

If you do slip up and cheat, think very hard before you confess. Sometimes coming clean does more harm than good. (Personally, I think you should always confess. You should always tell the truth. If you knew what you were doing would hurt someone else, why did you do it? I think you give up your right to keep a serious secret like that, when you decided to do it from the beginning. Yes, confessing will hurt both of you, that’s inevitable, but that’s the truth and that’s life.)

Life is long. If the timing just isn’t right now, take a break. It doesn’t mean you won’t be together at some point.

Life is also short. Make a point to laugh your asses off regularly. The rest will take care of itself.

Source: The 50 Best Relationship Tips Ever by Holly Eagleson, Cosmopolitan Magazine


Advice and tips from the fabulous Candace Bushnell. As one of my role models, Bushnell exerts a very macro-level philosophy to life and it’s many hurdles. She has formulated so much wisdom in her life so far, and has pioneered many amazing ideas with her class and creativity. Her words always inspire me and continue to paralell the ideas I have for myself.

Live Within Your Means

“You’re on the edge of your seat financially in your 20’s, but you don’t want to end up owing $80,000 when you’re 30 years old. It’s better to go without.”

Make Friends With Rejection

“In my 20’s, I wrote stories and sent them out. Few got printed. You have to be willing to put yourself out there and then move on, trying every angle.”

Get Pitch-Perfect

“Giving a 30-second big idea to someone is important, so get right to the point: ‘I think I have a great idea for the company. It’s about this. Is that something that interests you?'”

Your Screwups Lead to Success

“Give yourself permission to make mistakes. By developing problem-solving skills, you are laying the groundwork to be happy in your 30s and 40s.”

Embrace the Uncertainty

“Your job in your 20s is to explore and find out about the world- not to worry that you don’t know enough yet. No one knows what’s coming next…enjoy that.”

Essentials Learned About Men

Soul-quaking sex does not equal soul-mate status

“Great sex with someone may or may not really mean something. But it’s a hell of a lot better than bad sex! What it comes down to is that sex is just another form of communication.”

Skip Mr. Big

“That means a guy who will rescue you or who possesses all the qualities you want but don’t yet have. Men cannot give you that. You should be developing those qualities yourself.”

Love isn’t guaranteed

“Most women think that love is a right, that it’s ordained. Guess what? No one has to be in love with you. It’s not a given. The only person who needs to love you is you.”

You will know he’s The One

“My grandmother said that, and I never believed it. But it’s true. You won’t be calling your friends saying, ‘I don’t know if he’s interested.’ There won’t be drama. He’ll be as into it as you are.”

It’s good to emulate them

“I’ve asked a lot of men about their top priority, and for most, it’s career and achievement. Your life is about the development of your story, what adventures happen to you. That’s the romance of life.”

Throw Me A Rope…

Posted: August 22, 2010 in My Neuroticism, Secrets

Throw Me A Rope by KT Tunstall

I want you between me and the feeling I get
When I miss you
But everything here is telling me I should be fine
So why is it so above as below
That I’m missing you every time

I got used to you whispering things to me
Into the evening
We follow the sun and his colors left this world
It seems to me that I’m definitely
Hearing the best that I’ve heard

So throw me a rope
To hold me in place
Show me a clock
For counting my days down
Cause everything’s easier when your beside me
Come back and find me
Cause I feel alone

And whenever you go
It’s like holding my breath under water
I have to admit
That I kinda like it when I do
Oh but I got to be unconditionally
Unafraid of my days without you

So throw me a rope
To hold me in place
Show me a clock
For counting my days down
Cause everything’s easier when your beside me
Come back and find me

Whenever I’m falling
You’re always behind me
Come back and find me
Everything’s easier when you’re beside me
Come back and find me
Cause I feel alone

i miss you…


1. Fall in love; really seize it. The guy probably won’t be The One. But that’s how you learn who you are.

2. Be yourself- especially in a relationship. We still live in a sexist world where women often twist themselves into what they think a man wants, in order to have him. Put yourself before pleasing a guy and you’re more likely to find the guy who’s right.

3. Make a firm plan to move out of your comfort zone. Say I’ll work this entry-level job for two years, and then, no matter what, I’m moving on.

4. Try everything you find interesting, even if its quirky or odd.

5. Dare to ask, What is my purpose here? You might not be able to answer it, but you’ll learn a lot in the process.

…Source: Candace Bushnell

I started writing this small article a few years ago, I began writing when I was dating a guy for about 8 or 9 months and couldn’t quite figure out what was happening. It wasn’t love, but our connection was strong. I stopped writing after we grew apart; I dated several men after that but no one came close. Then, after a few unexpected, dramatic events changed my life forever, I met someone who was so far from anyone I had gone for in the past. I didn’t know anything about him, but after our first conversation, I knew I would figure out a way to get to know him and date him. In retrospect, I realize that what we discovered and created from each other was not love. What seemed so strong was more lust than anything- which is actually terrifying when you finally realize it. Our connection was not based on the core values two people need in a relationship; nevertheless, now that he is forever in my past, and I have come to terms with exactly what went on in our overly-complicated, addicting virus of a relationship, I have decided to share this article with everyone. It may seem simple and without meaning, but from my point of view this was created during the peeks of relationship high.

So I dedicate it to you- you know who you are- I have realized the mistakes we made and even though I still do not know what love really is, what it feels like, what it tastes like, I post this to allow our misinterpretation to be set free. I appreciate the experience because it taught me more lessons in what love is not. Our relationship was a disguise. It wasn’t love.

One thing only women understand is that it’s all very well to have a good husband, but if you don’t have a good hair colorist, aerobics instructor, car mechanic, baby-sitter, all of the above, you might as well be dead. But, if you could only have one of those things, which would you pick? If you picked any options other than a good, faithful husband, I urge you to discontinue reading this article immediately. You’re simply not ready. If however, you chose the latter, you must have some concept of faith, hope, or even love. Because in reality, would your car mechanic hold you close at night, would your baby-sitter do anything for you and expect nothing in return, would your hair colorist try to think of a million different ways to be funny only to hear the bewitching sweet sound of your laugh over and over, and would your aerobics instructor vow to stick with you through good times and bad, in sickness and in health? I think not.

What is love? Well, love is a mystery. Love is patient; love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind. Although, every individual whom can attest to being suddenly whisked away on that passionate and foolish magic carpet ride must be obliged to concur that the very second you feel it, there is and never was anything mysterious about it.

All women acknowledge there are universal attributes to a man that make him desirable; Bernard S. Talmey, M.D., embraces these “masculine virtues which impress true women [such as] physical strength, courage, nobility of mind, chivalry, and self-confidence. These virtues constitute the beauty which arouses the woman’s love.”

Love is when you never want to make a mistake, and you can’t help but make a fool of yourself. You make mistakes over and over, but none of them count when you’re falling in love. There is no judgment, no regret. Love takes over you, and you happily surrender. Some say they knew from the very first date that it was time to raise that little white flag. Even my own father proposed to my mother the very first time he met her. Naturally, she said no, but nevertheless, they were never parted from each other from that moment on.

In a most romantic love scene from The Blue Lagoon comes this quote that captures all desire fired by love; “As she looked at him like that, he suddenly and fiercely clasped her in his arms. He held her like this for a moment, dazed, stupefied, not knowing what to do with her. Then her lips told him, for they met his in an endless kiss.”

What we call love, can be dangerous and challenging. Love is the most powerful force the human race could ever embrace. All major life decisions involve love; it is the common denominator in all things valuable in this world. It is something that can never be described one way; it is different for everyone, yet astoundingly the same in that once you’ve fallen in love, everyone can attest to that feeling of uncontrolled emotion, great happiness over small things, and finding desire within you that you never knew you had.

It is something you cannot seek out, you can’t buy it at the grocery store, you can’t search for it in vintage shops, or abandoned cities; it is a connection no one can know but the two people it captures. It is such a mixture of all our emotions, thoughts and feelings we rarely feel at once, feelings we never knew another person could bring out of us. When I found love with another person, it was the most exhilarating yet horrifying feeling I have ever experienced. Wasting time trying to figure out what you’re feeling, trying to rationalize your thoughts and decisions. The things you find yourself doing just to make him or her happy. When you laugh for no reason, at any given time, just because you thought of them or were reminded of them. When you find yourself crying because of overwhelmed desire, or not being able to control what your mind and heart are telling you, or when you can’t figure out yet another way just to get closer to them.

Love can dwell on for months, years, and even forever. If you’re lucky, your love can last forever with the one person you’ve chosen to spend your life with. Sometimes it makes us afraid; it intimidates us and therefore leaves us in a shaded place. Whether it ended well or poorly, you will carry the love you had with that person forever. Sometimes it slips away, and you spend forever trying to understand why. As singer/songwriter Adele describes in her song Best For Last:

 “Why is it every time I think I’ve tried my hardest, It turns out it ain’t enough cause you’re still not mentioning love. What am I supposed to do to make you want me properly? I’m taking these chances and getting away. And though I’m trying my hardest you go back to her.  And I think that I know things may never change. I’m still hoping one day I might hear you say:

I make you feel a way you’ve never felt before
And I’m all you need and that you never want more
Then you’d say all of the right things without a clue
But you’d save the best for last
Like I’m the one for you.

The days grow short as the nights grow long. Time is slipping by, why not take a chance? When you’re in love, wasting time is the devil’s game. Small arguments over jelly in the grocery store, or leaving the toilet seat up seem so insignificant and minuscule compared to the power of your connection. Infuriating it may be, when they press all your buttons and push you to the edge; but you can never remain upset for long. If you’re like me, you know what it feels like to want to be in control. I’m determined to make sure I am the only one who can control my schedule, my car, my remote, my feelings, and my relationships. I am the “feminazi” that will argue sandwich making into submission. It used to be that compromises were only made to satisfy my needs. I rarely considered where my partner was coming from, or how I made them feel, it was always about how they were affecting me. For as long as I can remember, I’ve built a wall around my heart, always guarded; never showing my true feelings, never one to show weakness- like crying, never trusting others, and never one to believe love is 100% real. Oh what a rude awakening it is when this type-A personality tries to control a true relationship with someone I wasn’t quite aware that I was falling in love with.

You know who I’m talking about. This someone makes you nervous and weak; someone who can make you cry for the simplest reasons or no reason at all. You want to be a part of their joy and their happiness, their sadness and despair; you want to be their false and their truth. Times you wish your day just wouldn’t start unless they were there. Every day is beautiful when you’re with them; rain or snow, tornado or hurricane, the sun somehow finds a way to shine. What I’ve come to discover, that I never thought I could endure once again, is the dark abyss of torture and lonely hell one feels when they cannot be with the one they love. It seems so unfair that once you have come to this point, after countless bad dates, the handful of failed relationships and the all the assholes you had to run over in order to get here, you still can’t quite reach it. Why is that? Will we ever get what we want? How do you know that what you want is right for you? How can you mend a broken heart? These are questions that some of us will never find the answer to. All I know is that, a core-shaking love, finding that unbreakable connection which changes you forever, will never ever be forgotten. I will never forget how you made me feel. I will never forget your kiss, your touch. I will never forget your smile, your laugh, your happiness. I will never forget you.